Scary than a nightmare.


Exams, how this very first word has pinched you? I know it itches. Now you probably are not going to read ahead than this. No? Really? Okay then listen to what I have been through today. I student of BSc Electrical Engineering will remember this day as long as I breathe, when my first semester, first finals and first circuit analysis paper is taken.

                                       Okay, here examiner comes and hands over me  the paper. The very first sight of paper dawns on me that first three questions are not meant for us and that, one who has set the paper has done some mistake. These can’t be for us. No way!! I have not seen anything like these before. Or have I or others had?  I shrug. However questions which followed these look a bit familiar and I heave a sigh of relief. I have marked few questions. I pulled my socks.

                                            By now I have copied a very clear figure of circuit from the question paper to my answer sheet. Now what?  A question I was asking myself. No reply. Oh, it’s some messed form of the question. I simply can’t do it. I picked my scale and simply drawn an ending line below the figure.

                                               Now I have switched to the question about which I am sure I will solve  in no time. I have copied the question again and I have written few equations. Yeah!  What? Please not again. The question is subjected to tempering (crime which paper setters usually commit and they are shielded from the trial. I wish they would go under trial like players go for ball tempering). They teach us simple in class and ask very hard questions in paper. This is not fair. I am switching from one question to another but each question is tampered in a way for which I have no solution and neither it is in the book given to us. Is being an engineer means devising new equations and plots that too at the time of paper? I have flipped the question paper 5 to 6 times in a pursuit that maybe any question shows mercy, but none.

                                       With the help of ZAHID MASOOD’S (me) circuit laws, I am writing and I can feel the rush of blood in me. Oh, wow! I will solve all the questions. I am writing what I infer is correct. After tarnishing blank beauty of few pages of answer sheet, I feel slackened. Now I am kinda tired and laughing to myself over my funny equations which I have devised. Okay, enough is enough this untuned romance that too one day prior to valentines day with this ugly paper should stop now.

                                       The examiner is noticing me gazing out through the window of second floor of a building before which I am sitting. I rested my hands in my lap and now I am sitting quiet comfortable. He is coming. He asks “are you done?’ I am looking at my paper and in a quick short reply I say “Yes, with a paper and my brain juice too”. Thanks to the examiner for ending this truama.                            

                                                          As I walked out of  examination hall I was laughing and could not help myself. I don’t know why. A hard paper does that for you.  I noticed I was the first who has submitted the paper before the due time. I wondered is it only me who could not solve or others too. Anyways, the time is over and here come all of my class fellows. They are laughing too. One of them is shouting “somebody tell me the fee for summer supply papers. I will literally fail” another saying ‘Oh, God summers in Lahore, why me?” I am seeing a girl crying and yelling. Now I see a boy crying too. I see each class mate yelling. I am feeling happy to know it is not only me.  I see most of class fellows don’t know either to laugh or to cry.In 10 minutes, it was unveiled that in this paper each  of us is equal and none has done any better.You know in each university there are few Mr. Smith which are famous for the hot boiled papers they set and so were this paper set by Mr. Smith of our university. I am sure he has set such paper on purpose so maximum students repeat in summer.   

 This uniform situation of my class mates reminded me of the poetic lines of Dr. Aallama Iqbal

“Ek hi saf mein khare ho gaye mahmud-o-Ayaz,
No koi banda raha aur no koi banda Nawaz”

(This poetic line projects equality and draws back to an anecdote of a king and a slave, who were treated equal at that time.)

 

Advertisements

Taking on a forbidden tower. part 2


Note: Do not read until you have not read taking on a forbidden tower.

After reading”Taking on a forbidden tower”,  Many readers are asking me this question “what happened next after the gardener took notice of  me’? I know, it is a valid one. Actually what happened next was not worth mentioning but embarrassing.But now here it goes. The authority grilled me harshly for it. I had to pay for it. They did not conduct my interview. They called my parents. Are you people thinking all that? Well lets see what happened. I came down  as quickly as possible, hardly escaping a great fall on the stairs.

While descending the stairs some cartoonish scenes were exploding one after the other in my  mind, like, upon reaching the ground the gardener who had seen me would have raised an alarm by then, amassing the navy seals for the stealth mode operation and  I will find a bunch of gardeners armed with prunes, garden shears, rakes and what not. It will be like catching a rooster and putting it back to the chicken yard.

And I will slip from their clinched fists, running for my life in a way captain jack sparrow runs.  Stop playing that mission impossible music zatty!  I was not enjoying this at all.

descending those endless spirals stairs in less than five minutes made my head spin. okay! I came to the last stair leading me to the ground and began to descend it and made myself mentally prepare for a great run.  I descended it, stepping on the broken glass broke the silence which had sustained after I kept standing still behind the entrance door of the tower. I with one of my eyebrow raised and mouth little open came out expecting all the yelling but none.

To my surprise no one was there to welcome me and congratulating me for doing such a great deal.  what zatty! I made a fool out of myself. I came down to no good, I remember what I  had said at that moment ” All in a day’s life; I could have stayed on the top for a little while but what now”.

Taking on a forbidden tower.


Okay, so today was my interview in GIK (Ghulam Ishaq Khan Institute of engineering sciences) in the pursuit of engineering. Yes engineering. I know that sounds cliché in today world where there are influx of fields. okay zatty! stop giving me that look.   I am not after the trend but Engineer is someone I have always desired to be. I with my old chum left for university. The University was one and half hour journey from my friend’s place.  iconic scenarios, irregular ridges upon which clouds were casting its shadow, mud houses and a touch of rural life on both sides of the road we traveled, adorned our journey.

The smell of freshly mowed lawn welcomed us to the university. The university was big, green and beautiful. I reached the admin block where I came to know there were fifty candidates and my turn was pretty late, so I and my friend had ample time to ransack every corner of the university. Sadly I forgot the camera to have few clicks and capture some good memories. There are many things worth mentioning but the most exciting of all was the clock tower and the library. Though I got interested in it in the end but yeah the most exciting and adventures moment was mounting its stairs and reaching the top.

this is the real picture of that tower, and this pic has been taken from a great distance                                                            this is the pic of that clock tower. since it was took

                                                           from a great distance so it looks apparently small.

The height of the tower was 100metres. The length and width were somewhat equal and not more than 4 meter.  No one was allowed to go to the top. The door which was leading to the stairs of tower was locked but the door was made of glass which was fully broken by someone.  One could easily get through the door. This sight roused my appetite for adventure. I badly wanted to see why people are forbidden not to go in there. So, I stepped in and started mounting the spiral shaped concrete stairs. I had hardly mounted few steps that I realized the steps were very narrow and at great slope, making the climb difficult. The end of every stairs would lead to another. I kept on mounting the stairs for like five min and I could not tell how far I have reached, since the walls of the tower had s trip of one way glass running from top to bottom, through which I could not see.                 “these stairs are somewhat analogous to the original

                    stairs. sorry! I had forgotten camera”

By that time, I was thinking should I keep mounting or comeback, keeping that in mind somebody may have watched me going in and I will receive the penalty for entering restricted place. On second thought it appeared absurd to me coming back from the mid so I held my own and kept on mounting the stairs. As I was going higher and higher, acrimonious smell began to irritate me, and wondered for its cause.

The spiral concrete stairs ended and they were replaced by parallel run steel stairs, each leading to a new part of the clock tower. Before mounting those one I made it sure that they were firmly  fixed  by giving them a slight jerk. The increment in the pungent smell was tremendous and I felt the absence of air, as I was going higher.  In the third last part of the tower I saw three dead birds which had almost rot, causing smell.  Who did this to the poor birds? Nature or they became a prey of some animal, like snake or something. I got scared. Stop smiling zatty,  I got scared but  yeah a bit, not much.  By that time I could tell nobody had come this far in the forbidden tower lately. Should not I just go down, I questioned myself? No was the answer. On entering the second last part I felt the mechanism of tower in process and finally I entered the last part, above which was the roof.  The opening to the roof was cozy and hardly one could get through it. Fresh air and the streaks of sunlight were the bounties, the opening offered. It was a good sight.  Watching my steps from the electric wires and the clock mechanism I went for the last stairs, with each step I was feeling happier.

I finally made it to the roof. The view from it was awesome. I could see the university, its white buildings in lush green natural beauty.  I looked for my friend who was sitting on the footpath, waiting for me. He was wearing a red shirt, and from the height at which I was standing he looked like a tiny ladybird. Overwhelmed by the excited feelings, I shouted at my friend and waved towards him but I forgot gardeners were working down there. One looked at me and shouted” Hey you!” and I was like Oh, no!

AND I FOUND MYSELF…..


How many of you can give time to yourselves. How many can claim that they give time to their selves or listen to the voice in their head? The quantity of such people is very meager but whoever they are, one thing is sure about them;  they are great and successful people!

myself, me. psycopath

For the last four-year of my life i had been struggling to find myself, to figure out the factors which control my contentment, to realize my own definition of happiness, beauty, love, luxury, success, dreams and so many more things undefined. To a major extent i have remained successful in finding myself, thanks to God.

Following are one of the few things that have had helped me in finding my true self.

LIVE IN PRESENT:-
I used to be that kind of driver of the car of my life that had always  looked at the rear view mirror of the car in the journey of life. Whenever a bump came in the middle of the road, i found myself crashing into the wind screen and lying desperately and helplessly on the bonnet of the car for the sole reason that I had been looking into the rear view mirror.  Then I would take out my tools which probably consisted of lamentations, guilt, regrets etc, repairing the mistakes of past, hoping to make the present good. And it never worked for me.
After going through the thick and thins of my life, falling various times and then rising again, i learned that  if i do not let the past overlaps my present, things go smooth and streamlined. The inability to move on is like a stagnant position and accept the reality that anything begin to stink after a while in a stagnant position.


RELY ON YOURSELF:-
The best thing is to rely on is you and yourself, and nothing else. If you will adopt this practice you can get through any kind of tough situation. Consider an activity that is going around you or you are among your friends or relatives. At some specific time you feel ignored and  left out. You desire the same what others are getting but you are not getting it. You will tuck your hands in the pockets of your clothes, looking at the sky or observing some thing on the ground or singing to yourself and pretending hard that being left out does not affect you.
But deep inside you are questioning yourself what did I do? What do I lack? There is no answer and these thoughts hurt as hell.

In  contrast to this if you are true to yourself and you know how to rely on
yourself, you will need not  pretend and you will escape these situations without getting hurt, which is so inevitable at times. And you will surely not feel being ignored or left out.
rely on yourself,
CARRY LOVE.
Besides being a noun, love is also a verb. We ought to show it. Keeping and limiting its canvas to the suburbs of our heart is analogous to the corked bottle of a  perfume.
The greatness lies in loving without keeping the intentions to be loved back. Similarly love yourself not just for the reason that you have accomplished a certain task or you have met  the expectations that relations have set for you. Love yourself for the sake of being you.

Do not grill yourself , if  you were expected to meet a certain criteria  you could not manage to haul yourself across. By grilling yourself you are only degrading your self-esteem and weakening your “can do attitude”, rather you should look at yourself trying your best.
So look out , look out for yourself and clear the window of your vision and thinking enough that you can see yourself clearly, where you know what is it that you are. Only so great the “finding yourself” attitude will let you mount the steps of success and yeah do not forget

LIFE IS ABOUT FINDING YOURSELF

Pranksters in pain.


In summers I along with my elder brother usually used to bunk the day nap violating the order of parents. For us it was bedsore activity   to stay in the bed for like an hour when we did not wish to sleep. who likes to do so when he or she is a child and so were we. We usually had placed a pillow at the center of the bed along with cushion with a little gap from the pillow at the center of the bed and hide this arrangement under the blanket, to dodge our parents and make them think we are under the blanket.

Today we followed the same routine we usually had  sneak through the only window in our room and made our way to the lawn. My brother opened the window and I was the first to go through it and now was my brother turn. My elder brother is bulky while I am super slim. I greatly applaud my body when I go through that tiny window of our room but for my brother it had been and is still a struggle.

Today he made it with great difficulty. He got stuck in the middle, half of him inside the room and half outside. I tried to pull him out but first attempt proved futile one  however on second attempt I pulled him with full of my strength. This time it worked but after a moment, I found myself being sandwich between the floor and my fatty brother which was lying over me like I am his mattress

I wished mom and dad had not been sleeping, I would have cried loudly but reluctantly
I digested it like tom does upon being hit with the hammer by Jerry in toe nails. Frisking my clothes, I climbed  my favorite plum-tree and my brother hauled himself on the one which was inclined and easy to climb.
our house is a big though construction side is small, so we have a lot of ROOM to cultivate. These two plum trees were the by product of this space and these were fully grown by the time we moved in this house. 
I hardly swallowed few plums and my brother still   deciding on which branch of a tree he shall sit, that I heard a sound like somebody has thrown down the bolts of our verandah door and indeed I was correct. Moments later my mother appeared with her favorite sandal with which she usually like to spank us, on this i and my brother said with a unison, “OH! CRAP”.

Mom with her heavy voice” Kashif! You are ten years old and four-year older than Zahid (me). You shall be the one refraining your younger brother  from climbing on the trees and you are doing so”. Kashif tried to say something but mom started again” Both of you get down and come here.I descended from the tree in a way one descend the stairs
briskly so that mom might think that it is not hard for me to climb and might spare me. She did not notice it. Kashif plucked  few plums and hid them in his pockets when mom was staring at me.
It was me who received the reward first. I said it is my last time I will not do so again” but to no use.
she whipped me on such a place where she could find meat the most on me and those were my butts. After having my reward I rubbed my rear on the marbles of veranda. MOM could have spank Kashif anywhere but she went for his rear as well. I DO not know why? Maybe its her way of doing justice. Kashif too copied and sat on the cool marbles. What a cooling sensation we had after sitting on the marbles. I wish mom had known, I can blog about it then she might had spared us.

sing it out loud.


What does it take to sing well? A good voice, pleasant both in upper and lower notes that keeps other moving and makes their day, which also has a calming effect on them. Is that all? Is that the licence to sing?

Yeah, It maybe true for those professional in this field or an amateur at times. But wait for a minute, does that mean is it obligatory to have a good voice to sing and gets applause from the listeners for everyone?

The answer depends on whom you sing to. Suppose you are not good at singing and consider a situation, you are hanging out with a bunch of your friends. From nowhere a flux of excitement trickle down through your spine . This excitement maybe because of some beautiful scenery or the sudden change in weather or some anecdote of the past which came in your brain and has excited you. You automatically begin to sing out. You hardly sing few lines and you see your friends have bombarded loads of criticism onto you. In such situation, I think its better not to sing out loudly, which will definately be unpleasant for the listeners, even if they are your friends.

Take the opposite case when you sing to yourself in the mirror , then there is no obligation even if you are bad at singing . You can sing out loudly and you usually wears  the best smile looking into the mirror. You are happy and contented with yourself.That contentment is worth more than the applause you  get by the listeners  after you sing to them, so whether you are good at singing or not. Sing out, sing out loud to yourself.

One of my friend told me the ultimate happiness of life is finding yourself.  I am naturally biased over it.Take my case I am so good at singing that the listeners say it was good when I stopped. Does that mean I  should  stop singing. Certainly not. I sing to myself and make myself  happy and contented. That should count the most.

Procrastination, a bad habit.


NOTE : PLAY THE MUSIC TO SPICE UP THE READING

My father was honking the horn heavily and i was late as usual because of sitting overtime before PC. i had to take a leak but i delayed it for the cause of computer and now there was no time for it.

Reluctantly i had to grab my books, head straight for my tuition. Father dropped me for my tuition whose center was in the main bazaar, by then i could not hold my horses any more. I badly wanted to take a leak but the question was where? since i was wandering in the main bazaar and to cap it all, i was wearing a jeans, so could not even do it in a local way.
Most of us are aware of this technique of pissing in public while wearing salwar and kameez(type of clothes worn in sub continent) . One acquires a modified a squat position.The modification is done by expanding the knees a little outward like an adult sits on a kid tricycle and there goes a niagara falls.One must take this precaution into consideration that he must faces a wall.
To discover the public toilets in the main bazaar seemed to me like a mammoth work and indeed it was. Tilting my head to the end of every street wandering here and there. My attempts to find it turned out to be futile ones. At the eleventh hour i finally managed to find the toilets.                                                                                                      A few moments later i found myself behind the door of a toilet and heaved a sigh of relief. The door of the toilet was a small one and the walls too. Apprehension of being watched by someone induced me to sit like an amateur thief who is out on his first theft. There were quiet a few holes in the door and moments later i came to know that bolt of the door is out of order too so as a hobson’s choice i had to hold the door with my right hand. When i twisted the tap to get some water in the mug but peculiar gurgling sound coming out of the tap told me in its own manner “sorry! There is no water. I was already in a complex situation and it added more to it.
One way or the other i managed to come out.                                                                                               I missed my class in the wake

e of procrastination. I learnt my lesson. I learnt indeed procrastination is a bad habit.